It’s true. I’m sure this will come as quite a shock to anyone who has only known me post-pregnancy (when hormones and sleep-deprivation started turning my brain to mush) but once upon a time I was a fairly intelligent person, capable of such impressive feats as: holding actual conversations and *gasp* constructing full sentences without even breaking a sweat. Hard to believe, I know. Nowadays, even when I can somehow manage to organise my thoughts into words, the signal seems to get disrupted somewhere between my brain and my mouth so that everything I say comes out as gibberish. The same goes for my writing; last week I had to write my first formal essay since having Lil Miss Awesome and not only did it take me about ten times longer than it would have in the old days, but by the time I finished it I’d gone off on so many different tangents that I completely forgot what my argument was supposed to be. The whole thing really needed to be rewritten but since I only had 25 minutes before the submission deadline, I had no choice but to hand it in as it was. I’m really dreading getting my marks back. Not so much because I care about the grade – the idea of doing Honours seems to have lost some of its appeal – but because my lecturer for this course didn’t know me back when I was smart. I feel like I should have sent a cover note with my assignment, something along the lines of:
“Please find attached my assignment. This essay took more effort than any other I have ever written…unfortunately it is also the worst essay I have ever written. Sorry. I’m not really a moron, I swear!”
*Sigh* I really miss my old brain.
Some of the other things I miss about my pre-motherhood life
- Sleep!!! Including, but not limited to:
- Averaging more than 3 hours of sleep per night (or at least having the option to put my insomnia to use on one of my many unfinished projects)
- Having the option to go to bed earlier than 11.30pm without being woken up 45 minutes later
- Blocks of sleep lasting longer than 45 minutes
- Sleeping-in on… well, any day would do
- Long hot bubble baths that aren’t interrupted by an attention-hungry baby…
- Being able to set my own schedule without having to allow for play time, nap time, feeding, changing etc
- Being able to leave things to the last minute because I can always make time later…
Oh, and being allowed to take my migraine medication would be nice too…
Things that I now couldn’t do without
- Being greeted every morning with big smiles, cuddles and kisses
- Having someone actually enjoy my singing!
- My own personal entertainer – who’d have thought that peek-a-boo was so hilarious?!
- Having an excuse to watch Monsters Inc. and various other kids’ movies
- Listening to cute babbling stories punctuated with giggles
- The excitement of hearing my little darling call me “Mama” for the first time
As much as she is driving me mad at the moment, choosing to have Lil Miss Awesome is still the smartest thing I’ve ever done, and I wouldn’t trade her for all the brain cells and luxuriously long bubble baths in the world.
Although a couple of hours’ sleep wouldn’t go astray…