Archive for August, 2011

Well, I’m sticking with my Procrastinator-Post-A-Week commitment but I’m going to have to keep this post fairly brief because a horde of zombies has stopped me from getting anything productive done today…or yesterday…or just about any other day this past week. It’s not my fault, though! As I’ve mentioned previously, The Motivator has got me hooked on Call of Duty: Black Ops (the Zombies part of it, anyway) and now at odd moments during the day I’ll find myself daydreaming about whether it’s better for me to get the power on quickly and use my points to buy the Bowie Knife, or to take the risk on the mystery box and hope that I’ll score the Ballistic Knife or Thundergun (I’m usually not that lucky).

Lately I’ve managed to (mostly) resist the temptation of playing on my own – which may have something to do with the fact that I don’t get very far by myself and the zombie-gollum thingies freak me out – but now we’ve made the mistake of introducing my sister and best friend to the game too, and with four players the game is just that little bit more interesting…

So far Lil Sis has managed to avoid the addiction and only plays when we ask her to, so either she has a lot more will-power than the rest of us or she’s just not that interested in having The Motivator yelling instructions at her and whingeing when she takes ‘his’ kills. Probably a bit of both. My best friend on the other hand is hopelessly obsessed and I am therefore holding him responsible for my total lack of productivity. I had a lot planned for this weekend (unfortunately all homework or housework related) but it’s very difficult to turn down a good zombie hunt.

Besides, I have a very severe case of writer’s block at the moment and I can’t even remember what the book I am supposed to be analysing is about so it only makes sense that I should take a break and kill zombies. It’s great inspiration.

PS. Does anyone know if there’s a way to get the Thundergun in Kino Der Toten without using the mystery box??? Because I am really sick of getting stuck with the Dragunov against a theatre full of zombies and gollum-thingies.

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Today’s post is a special one for me for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it’s been one month today since I posted my first confession and I have to say that I’m very happy with what I’ve accomplished with this blog so far. So what if I don’t post something new every day and that I don’t have 100 subscribers? That was never the point of this exercise, anyway. This blog is inspiring me to write whenever I get the chance and I’m incredibly grateful to all my subscribers (all 10 of you!) for encouraging me to continue.

The other reason this post is special is that today is my birthday. Typically, my birthday is a day of reflection for me. I look back over the past twelve months and think about the things that went well, the things that didn’t go so well, and the things I might have done differently if I’d known back then what I know now. This past year I have done a lot of things that I am incredibly proud of – most notably, giving birth to the most beautiful baby in the universe, Little Miss Awesome (not that I’m in any way biased) – so overall it’s been a very good year. Unfortunately – and unsurprisingly – the list of things I would do differently is still much, much longer than I would like it to be. Looking back I realise that I’ve wasted far too much time stressing about negative things that were completely out of my control and I haven’t spent nearly enough of my energy on the things that make me happy. There have been so many things that I’ve wanted to do and have even ‘planned’ on doing but have managed to talk myself out of. This is a recurring problem for me, particularly with my writing and other creative goals. So, for the past couple of days I’ve been wondering if maybe I’m just kidding myself thinking that I could ever write something worth reading. Writing a novel requires commitment and a significant amount of discipline, and that’s not something I’m generally known for. Do I really want this bad enough? Or is it time to finally admit to myself that I’m just not ‘hungry’ enough and to be more realistic with my goal expectations?

And I’ve made a decision. In the words of Will Smith:

No! I’m not going to give in to self-doubt, and no I’m not going to give up on my goals! Most people make New Year’s resolutions on January 1 but I’m making mine right now.

Today is the start of my new year and I resolve to make a change.

 This year I’m going to get hungry!

And with that in mind, I’ve just made my first commitment to my goals for this year (my new year) by taking up The Daily Post’s challenge to post something on this blog at least once a week. Welcome to The Procrastinator’s Post-A-Week 2011!

I’ve always been a night person. No, that’s not quite right…

I’ve always been a bit of an insomniac and I just try to make the most of it. That means that when I do actually get around to writing – whether it’s for Uni or for one of my stories – I tend do my best work at night (probably because most of the time it’s ideas for writing that are keeping me awake in the first place).

Unfortunately, Lil Miss Awesome seems to be a ‘night person’ too (at least tonight she is) and I don’t write/type well one-handed while simultaneously trying to settle a whingeing baby.

So I thought now would be as good a time as any to point out that it’s not always my procrastinating habits and short attention span that stop me from getting things done as planned. For example: I had every intention of writing another post for my confessional tonight (although technically it’s morning now where I am) but after about a dozen failed attempts to get LMA to sleep for more than twenty minutes, I am so well-and-truly distracted (not to mention exhausted) that it’s just not gonna happen right now…

Stay tuned!

But one of these things probably stopped me from doing it in the first place:

Facebook
I’m listing this one first because it’s the one I’m most ashamed of. I don’t even like Facebook but that doesn’t stop me from checking my Facebook page at least daily. Usually more. At least I’ve (somehow) managed to avoid the dreaded FarmVille plague that seems to have infected some of my ‘friends’…

Catching up on the ‘news’
Arrgh! I used to have Ninemsn as my home page but I had to change it back to Google. I found that every time I needed to pay a bill online or find a phone number or any other five-minute task it would end up taking me an hour because for some reason I just had to find out what Justin Bieber was wasting $15k per week on and that would lead me to some other very important article. Like the one about someone finding a live rat in their loaf of bread. Compelling stuff.

Housework
At least this one is productive! My house always seems to be the cleanest whenever I have an essay or other assignment due. Not that my house is usually very untidy but I’m just saying, if I have the choice between describing the art-making strategies of the historical avant-gardes in blah blah blah or cleaning the microwave, the microwave wins hands-down.

Looking for random objects that I’ve only just realised are missing but now can’t seem to function without
Unfortunately this one happens all the time. I don’t know why it is impossible for me get started on my filing after I’ve discovered that my left weight lifting glove is missing, but apparently it just is. It doesn’t even matter that the glove has probably been missing for three years (because that’s when The Motivator bought them for me – in his deluded optimism that I might actually go to the gym), or that I have no intention of lifting any weights. I just need it, okay?

Killing zombies
The Motivator recently introduced me to the Zombie game in Call of Duty: Black Ops and, although I can say in all honesty that I am nowhere near as addicted to it as he is, I’m still finding myself drawn to the Xbox far more than I should be…

I have a confession to make… this is not really a blog. Ok well it kind of is. But it’s also an experiment. You see, I’ve always been the sort of person who regularly comes up with absolutely fantastic ideas only to get bored or distracted before I follow through with them – much to the annoyance of my very supportive husband (herein known as The Motivator).

One day on my drive home from work I came up with the fantastic idea that I should write a novel (yes, very original, I know). As soon as I got home I very excitedly told The Motivator all about my idea including a brief story outline as well as some character descriptions (and my choice of actors for the movie adaptation). He was very encouraging and told me to get started right away – and I did.

Get started, that is. I’m very good at starting things, not so good at finishing them…It’s been about five years since that fateful drive home and I still don’t have much more than the outline and the idea I started with because as soon as I get serious about one idea, another pops into my head that seems much better and much more worth my time so I start on that instead…then when I get started on that idea, I have the same problem again!

So. Maybe when I (finally) finish my manuscript it will become a bestselling masterpiece and blockbuster movie worthy of starring Sir Anthony Hopkins; maybe it will be a load of drivel that friends and family will politely “Ooh” and “Aah” and “Good on you for trying!” over for about five minutes before I file it away forever in my “Ugh, what was I thinking?!” drawer (that seems the more likely outcome). That doesn’t matter right now. Whether or not I have any actual talent remains to be seen, but for the moment my primary goal is to for once and for all see one of my ideas all the way through to completion and I’m hoping this blog will help make that happen.

Wish me luck!

You can find out more about how this experiment is supposed to work in Behind the Blog.