Posts Tagged ‘confessions’

Well, I’m sticking with my Procrastinator-Post-A-Week commitment but I’m going to have to keep this post fairly brief because a horde of zombies has stopped me from getting anything productive done today…or yesterday…or just about any other day this past week. It’s not my fault, though! As I’ve mentioned previously, The Motivator has got me hooked on Call of Duty: Black Ops (the Zombies part of it, anyway) and now at odd moments during the day I’ll find myself daydreaming about whether it’s better for me to get the power on quickly and use my points to buy the Bowie Knife, or to take the risk on the mystery box and hope that I’ll score the Ballistic Knife or Thundergun (I’m usually not that lucky).

Lately I’ve managed to (mostly) resist the temptation of playing on my own – which may have something to do with the fact that I don’t get very far by myself and the zombie-gollum thingies freak me out – but now we’ve made the mistake of introducing my sister and best friend to the game too, and with four players the game is just that little bit more interesting…

So far Lil Sis has managed to avoid the addiction and only plays when we ask her to, so either she has a lot more will-power than the rest of us or she’s just not that interested in having The Motivator yelling instructions at her and whingeing when she takes ‘his’ kills. Probably a bit of both. My best friend on the other hand is hopelessly obsessed and I am therefore holding him responsible for my total lack of productivity. I had a lot planned for this weekend (unfortunately all homework or housework related) but it’s very difficult to turn down a good zombie hunt.

Besides, I have a very severe case of writer’s block at the moment and I can’t even remember what the book I am supposed to be analysing is about so it only makes sense that I should take a break and kill zombies. It’s great inspiration.

PS. Does anyone know if there’s a way to get the Thundergun in Kino Der Toten without using the mystery box??? Because I am really sick of getting stuck with the Dragunov against a theatre full of zombies and gollum-thingies.

Today’s post is a special one for me for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it’s been one month today since I posted my first confession and I have to say that I’m very happy with what I’ve accomplished with this blog so far. So what if I don’t post something new every day and that I don’t have 100 subscribers? That was never the point of this exercise, anyway. This blog is inspiring me to write whenever I get the chance and I’m incredibly grateful to all my subscribers (all 10 of you!) for encouraging me to continue.

The other reason this post is special is that today is my birthday. Typically, my birthday is a day of reflection for me. I look back over the past twelve months and think about the things that went well, the things that didn’t go so well, and the things I might have done differently if I’d known back then what I know now. This past year I have done a lot of things that I am incredibly proud of – most notably, giving birth to the most beautiful baby in the universe, Little Miss Awesome (not that I’m in any way biased) – so overall it’s been a very good year. Unfortunately – and unsurprisingly – the list of things I would do differently is still much, much longer than I would like it to be. Looking back I realise that I’ve wasted far too much time stressing about negative things that were completely out of my control and I haven’t spent nearly enough of my energy on the things that make me happy. There have been so many things that I’ve wanted to do and have even ‘planned’ on doing but have managed to talk myself out of. This is a recurring problem for me, particularly with my writing and other creative goals. So, for the past couple of days I’ve been wondering if maybe I’m just kidding myself thinking that I could ever write something worth reading. Writing a novel requires commitment and a significant amount of discipline, and that’s not something I’m generally known for. Do I really want this bad enough? Or is it time to finally admit to myself that I’m just not ‘hungry’ enough and to be more realistic with my goal expectations?

And I’ve made a decision. In the words of Will Smith:

No! I’m not going to give in to self-doubt, and no I’m not going to give up on my goals! Most people make New Year’s resolutions on January 1 but I’m making mine right now.

Today is the start of my new year and I resolve to make a change.

 This year I’m going to get hungry!

And with that in mind, I’ve just made my first commitment to my goals for this year (my new year) by taking up The Daily Post’s challenge to post something on this blog at least once a week. Welcome to The Procrastinator’s Post-A-Week 2011!

I’ve always been a night person. No, that’s not quite right…

I’ve always been a bit of an insomniac and I just try to make the most of it. That means that when I do actually get around to writing – whether it’s for Uni or for one of my stories – I tend do my best work at night (probably because most of the time it’s ideas for writing that are keeping me awake in the first place).

Unfortunately, Lil Miss Awesome seems to be a ‘night person’ too (at least tonight she is) and I don’t write/type well one-handed while simultaneously trying to settle a whingeing baby.

So I thought now would be as good a time as any to point out that it’s not always my procrastinating habits and short attention span that stop me from getting things done as planned. For example: I had every intention of writing another post for my confessional tonight (although technically it’s morning now where I am) but after about a dozen failed attempts to get LMA to sleep for more than twenty minutes, I am so well-and-truly distracted (not to mention exhausted) that it’s just not gonna happen right now…

Stay tuned!

I have a confession to make… this is not really a blog. Ok well it kind of is. But it’s also an experiment. You see, I’ve always been the sort of person who regularly comes up with absolutely fantastic ideas only to get bored or distracted before I follow through with them – much to the annoyance of my very supportive husband (herein known as The Motivator).

One day on my drive home from work I came up with the fantastic idea that I should write a novel (yes, very original, I know). As soon as I got home I very excitedly told The Motivator all about my idea including a brief story outline as well as some character descriptions (and my choice of actors for the movie adaptation). He was very encouraging and told me to get started right away – and I did.

Get started, that is. I’m very good at starting things, not so good at finishing them…It’s been about five years since that fateful drive home and I still don’t have much more than the outline and the idea I started with because as soon as I get serious about one idea, another pops into my head that seems much better and much more worth my time so I start on that instead…then when I get started on that idea, I have the same problem again!

So. Maybe when I (finally) finish my manuscript it will become a bestselling masterpiece and blockbuster movie worthy of starring Sir Anthony Hopkins; maybe it will be a load of drivel that friends and family will politely “Ooh” and “Aah” and “Good on you for trying!” over for about five minutes before I file it away forever in my “Ugh, what was I thinking?!” drawer (that seems the more likely outcome). That doesn’t matter right now. Whether or not I have any actual talent remains to be seen, but for the moment my primary goal is to for once and for all see one of my ideas all the way through to completion and I’m hoping this blog will help make that happen.

Wish me luck!

You can find out more about how this experiment is supposed to work in Behind the Blog.

Well this blog is off to a great start – I managed to spend five whole minutes working on my first real post before getting completely sidetracked and forgetting what I’d planned to say (but at least I got my washing done). Unfortunately this is a frequent occurrence for me because I have a phenomenally short attention span (we haven’t ruled out ADHD just yet) and I tend to multi-task just a little bit too much…

So, I decided that rather than wait until I remember the point I was trying to make in Confession #1: My ulterior motive, I should just move onto Confession #2 instead and explain that – for obvious reasons – the majority of my posts will be short.

And, yes, I do realise that I could’ve just renumbered this post but that’s not how I do things 😛